Defining Moments

As I write these blog posts there are some I read over and over tempted to hit the 'delete' button. I have to remind myself that my goal is to write to the glory of God being real and transparent in what God has brought me through and taught me.
There have been several decisive moments in my life that have brought me to a place of re-focusing my life and priorities.
Twenty months ago my dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly and life as I knew it with family activities, teaching women's Bible studies, working in a bakery came to a crashing halt. I was so busy doing I had lost my focus, I had lost my passion for Jesus Christ. He was no longer the main thing, my activites which were mainly christian in nature were the focus. I was doing and not being still and knowing God.
The very next day after my dad went to be with Jesus all these "good" things fell by the wayside. I turned to Jesus who alone could comfort and love me. As I descended into a valley of profound grief and questions regarding how my dad died, I turned to the Word of God daily, many times throughout the day. My focus was now front and center on Jesus.
Questions I had were answered in God's Word. How did I get to the point I was so busy and not focusing on the most important relationship with Jesus? As I read Matthew 5:1-11 Jesus explains here what a true disciple is and questions we can ask ourselves.
*Do I recognize how desperately I need God and His help? Matthew 5:3
*Is there a sin/sins in my life I need to mourn over, seeking forgiveness from God? Matthew 5:4
*Am I meek, trusting the in sovereignty of God in my life? Matthew 5:5
*Am I merciful, showing kindness and forgiveness to others as Christ has forgiven me? Matthew 5:7
*Does purity affect every area of my life? Heart, mind and soul? Matthew 5:8
*Do I show the world I value Jesus above everything else, even when persecuted? Matthew 5:10
Is Jesus all I want, more than all in Thee I find?(Charles Wesley hymn)