As a little girl I would play this silly game, picking a petal off a flower as I repeated...
"he loves me, he loves me not". As I think about it today I wonder where did that game come from? and what does it mean?
Sad to say, I have played that same game in my head more times than I like to count. We are approaching our 25th wedding anniversary and far too many times I have insisted he love ME the way I want to be loved. How SELFISH is that?
Far too many years I have knelt at the altar of ROMANCE. And before I continue this is not a post disregarding romance or my definition of it. So hang in there with me. I love flowers, intimate dinners, vacations without kids as much as the next person. But I've been fooled into thinking my husband should, no I've demanded he do this, this and this and then I will KNOW he loves me. Again, SELFISH!
I have dreamt of many things I wish he would do. My heart has longed for all my definitions of romance and yes I have sinned to get MY way.And when that happens...when I sin to get what I think I should have...an idol has been born.
I have for too long defined my marriage by the worlds standards.
Take a minute to look at the definitions and synomyms for romance at Dictionary.com, these shed a light on the idea of romance that helps me remember it is fleeting.
What is not fleeting is the commitment I have made to love and cherish my husband before God and man, to cling only to him.
Today I define romance this way:
- He loves God and His Word supremely.
- He loves me, I have never had to worry he may love another.
- He loves his children with all his heart.
- He encourages me in my walk with the Lord, to serve God in how I believe He has called me
- He holds down the fort when I make my many trips to Iowa
- He cooks when I don't feel well
The list could go on and on...
He recently bought me a beautiful card and perfume for no reason and we spend evenings together watching movies he thinks I will like. He is always looking out for me and my best interests...He isn't perfect, but God has given him to me and that is enough.
Romance? Yes. My definition? No.
He loves me.